She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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