i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
ok first of all what the fuck
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
