Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
