All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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