There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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