Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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