Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
