guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
