Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
