im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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