That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
