How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
