Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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