drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
