So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
