Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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