I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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