Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
