only if we run a train.
done.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
