Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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