Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
