You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
