who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You were trust falling into bushes
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
