8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
