So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
