dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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