Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
