I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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