what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Vodka?
Forever.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
