we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
