I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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