You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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