its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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