Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
