I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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