Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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