Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
