once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
