To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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