Slut skills are useful in every country.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
