My nipple is on Facebook.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
