It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
