I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
