Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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