dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
