he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
