its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
