he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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