We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
