I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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