I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
