ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it glows. i had to have it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
