how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
